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Jessica Fralin

Jessica Fralin

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Posted on November 30, 2017November 30, 2017

hope on the rise.

As soon as the Christmas tree goes up every year, my morning routine shifts. All I want to do is pour a cup of coffee & linger in front of it, taking in the silence of the morning & the softness of its glow (team white lights FOREVER, you guys). I can see those little …

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Posted on May 1, 2017May 1, 2017

What I’m Reading: 2017 part one.

This year, I rediscovered the library. I've loved to read since I was three. (I know, the nerd in me showed up early & has been going strong ever since.) If I close my eyes, I can still picture the library in my hometown neighborhood, can still smell that well-read paper & feel that calming …

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Posted on April 17, 2017April 17, 2017

on taking deep breaths.

Tonight, I'm crashing into bed proud of myself. Over the past three weeks, I've pushed myself harder than I can remember. I took on three new clients in an already insane season. I worked a lot of 12+ hour days - and still went to bed on time. I took care of my body. Today, I …

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Posted on March 13, 2017

#makeMondaykind: An Introduction

Last week's giveaway was so much fun for me - not just because I got to share some of my favorite products with y'all (congrats to Lauren from Texas for winning!), but because I saw you guys get on board. You're ready to share kindness & kick start your week with a dose of encouragement. …

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Posted on March 6, 2017

The #makeMondaykind Giveaway!

It's my birthday week, but I want to give some things I love to YOU. So here we go - the very first #makeMondaykind giveaway! (To learn more about #makeMondaykind, click here.) The winner will receive: 1️⃣ Two copies of Darling Magazine No. 18 - one for you to keep, one for you to make Monday …

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Posted on December 24, 2016December 24, 2016

Something Worth Rejoicing Over

“A thrill of hope; the weary world rejoices. For yonder breaks a new & glorious morn.” O Holy Night has always been my favorite Christmas song, & I've always held that lyric close. But this year, it hits new depths in my soul. Because this year, more than ever before, I’m weary. I’m weary of opinions …

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Posted on September 9, 2016September 9, 2016

The Year I Stopped Trying to Control People

2016 will go down as the year I stopped trying to control people. Not that I was successfully controlling them before. But I tried. Wow, did I try. My soul still has some scars that prove it — on their way to healed, but still visible if you look hard enough. I think my heart …

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LET’S GET TO SOCIALIZING.

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T MINUS ONE WEEK UNTIL THE HUELS WEDDING, PEOPLE. Can’t wait to watch my best gal marry her best guy. Please send dancing shoes and tissues. We’re gonna need both.
Hey, you. Let’s have a little talk about why we post. Here’s the thing: your people are not the people you have to chase down. Especially not on social media. Posting curated little snapshots hoping that someone will notice — that’s pretty taxing, on your time and on your soul. Be here because you want to be here. Be here because you have words you’re bursting to share. Be here because getting creative online fuels you to create good stuff offline. Be here because the sunrise was gorgeous this morning and you want us to see it, too. Don’t show up hoping that your ex checks in to see that you’re doing well, or that this will finally be the post that goes viral, or that your social media hero will notice how great your content is, or that your crush will slide into your DMs. Sometimes, we post just to prove that we measure up. That’s a whole lot of pressure for these little squares, you know. Life’s too rich and too wild and too good to waste it playing social media games. I’m preaching to you AND to me when I say — stop placing your hope in the wrong stuff. You’re already worth whatever you’re trying to prove.
Surrender makes me anxious some days. Is that weird to admit? I truly, genuinely believe that I’ve got a good father holding it all — but my gosh, I try to take things back into my own hands a lot. Some wild thought will slide into my mind about relationships or finances or future plans, and I’ll feel it. That bubble of mild panic, that “I’ve got to do something about this” whisper. My heart rate speeds up a little. I’ll only feel better if I take action. Or at least, that’s the story I used to tell myself — that taking action kills the anxiety. That grabbing the pen to my own story means I can actually write it better than the God of the universe. I hate to be the bearer of terrible news, but you and I were never in control. And grasping at autonomy just sends anxiety off for a quick nap, only for it to return hours or days or weeks later. Sometimes the diagnosis is bad and the finances fall apart and the dreams don’t come true and the heartbreak hits. This all happens, no matter how hard we scheme and plan and strive. Now for the good news: peace doesn’t come from control, or from springing into action to regain it. It comes from resting in the fact that you never had control, anyway — and that the one who does is pretty good at his job. Will hard moments still come? Of course. But so will the healing and the blessing and the joy that comes from being a kid who sticks close to her good dad. So now, when anxiety comes knocking, when unmet desires stir up, when things feel impossibly hard, I just tell him about it. My old way: feeling out of control? Act. My new way: feeling out of control? Pray. I can’t explain how it works, but pouring myself out to God brings peace in a way that hustling to fix my life never did. That’s the mystery of it all, I guess. But I’ll keep leaning in, because his ways are better. Today, leaning in looked like praying out loud while I stood at my stove cooking lunch. It looked like trusting that he’s listening and he’s good and he’s working even when the horizon looks eerily still from where I stand. If something’s weighing on you, try unloading it on God. I bet peace will follow close behind.
Home from the best weekend away I’ve had in a long time ✨ loved celebrating @alexisteichmiller in the woods with this crew. If you can get away from WiFi and cell service for a few days, do it. I could actually feel my soul settle down as the hours ticked by. I’ve spent a handful of days in the Smoky Mountains, and they’re always beautiful, but this might be the time I’ve appreciated them most — undistracted by anything outside our sweet little camp. @undercanvasofficial is dreamy, and the peace out here is even dreamier. Jesus speaks louder in the middle of nowhere - and everything else gets really, really quiet. Grateful, grateful, grateful.
“Denying my needs made me impenetrable. Knowing them keeps me tender. Holding others at a distance gave me a guarantee of safety. Opening myself to them gives me permission to be loved. Fighting for control kept me anxious. Letting Jesus be Lord gives me space to rest like a child in the presence of a Father who knows better. Honestly? Some days, all of this still smells like weakness to me. I am unlearning independence. And unlearning is even harder than learning, it seems. The bent of your soul might not be reckless independence. But I bet it bends somewhere. None of us point due north, after all. So when you hear your heart beat to a rhythm that you know is untrue, stop. Consider it. Unlearn it.” ————————————————— Just a little chunk from The Pour Over No. 3 — my favorite place to write these days. The Pour Over is a monthly email series featuring words to pore over, coffee to pour over, and a few other things that make life sweet. ☕️ Link’s in my bio if you want to join us or catch up on past editions!
Here’s the thing about showing up on Sunday morning: it doesn’t shift your circumstances. But it shifts your heart. I used to show up as a consumer. Now I’m here as a worshipper. I’m showing up to get transformed by rehearsing the faithfulness of God, by reminding myself that he’s on the move even when I can’t see it. @lylebphillips reminds us all the time not to ask, “How was THE worship?” but, “How was MY worship?” This is it, y’all. God’s worthy and he deserves it and this is why we show up - to remind ourselves of the truth.
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Jessica Fralin
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