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Jessica Fralin

Jessica Fralin

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Tag: courage

Posted on February 23, 2015February 22, 2015

Courage: One Little Word

I’ve needed a big dose of this little word lately. The first two decades of my life went by pretty much as expected. Infant turned toddler turned preschooler, then off to elementary, middle & high school. As far as I can remember, I tried to rush those seasons by as fast as they’d go, because …

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“This moment, you’re alive. You can just dial up the magic of that anytime.” Joanna Macy Last year, I learned a lot about the gift of presence — about staying with people while they’re grieving or angry or afraid, about listening well, about showing up rather than spouting advice, about the sacred act of just sitting in the room. The gift of presence grew my love for others. This year, I’m learning to offer that same gift to myself. It’s noticeably harder, to sit in the room with my own emotions and hopes and hurts and just... be with them. Not to stuff them down or offer quick fixes or tell them they’re silly, but just to welcome them to the table. To let them take up space. It goes against the grain for me in so many ways, but when I make it a priority, the gift of presence is growing my love for myself. It sounds childish to say there’s magic in every day, but truly, breath in my lungs and a house to call home and other hearts to love and good coffee and vacation days - what gifts. I want to be aware of them all, good things and hard things and little things I take for granted. That’s presence - accepting good and hard things alike with open hands. I think showing up to your own life and living well in your own skin honors Jesus and others and gosh, certainly yourself. So whatever’s going on in your world today, maybe you should pull up a chair for it and sit down beside it. Offer yourself the gift of your own presence, even if it sounds crazy. There’s something sacred waiting there, I bet.
Four years in Nashville today. I could really ramble about my time here (and believe me, I have, in my Notes app), but I’ll just say this: His ways are better. Life in Nashville has been one giant testament to the restoration power of God. I didn’t get a single thing I’d dreamed of when I moved to this city. And I’m so grateful — because the story unfolding now is sweeter and better than anything I could have imagined when my U-Haul rolled up in 2015. The dark days end. If you’re swimming in them now, take it from someone who’s been there & lived to tell the tale. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.” If you don’t see it now, hold on. Trust Him. Obey even when it doesn’t make sense. He’s coming after you with goodness deeper than you can even dream. ✨
Ever been too busy to do the things your soul needs? Here’s something: that’s when you need them the most. It’s counterintuitive, I know. But we live in a world that constantly leaves the important behind in favor of the urgent, and it’s forming us. It’s forming our minds into thinking that a hectic pace means a more valuable life, that a full calendar is something to be lauded above anything else. It’s forming our hearts to be unsure of how to feel when things get quiet, to have Netflix and Spotify and podcasts at the ready because we’re afraid of what might surface in the silence. It’s teaching our bodies to get squirmy and uncomfortable when things slow down, to reach for our phones when we’re forced to wait even for a few seconds. It’s forming our souls to neglect the work that really needs to be done, to push push push it down until we break down because we can’t take another step without dealing with what’s waiting under the facade. The choices you make are forming you, no matter how insignificant they may seem. So maybe today is a good day to do the thing you don’t have time for — or the thing you don’t want to do at all. Sit in the silence, and get uncomfortable. Comfort isn’t the end goal, anyway. Say no to the plans. Kick “fear of missing out” to the curb and choose health instead. Pray. If you’re feeling overworked, uninspired, or burned out, you need that life source more than ever. Here’s to a weekend of taking steps toward health, even the tiniest steps that may not be recognizable to anyone but you. Refuse urgency as your guide. Choose importance instead. A better rhythm is waiting for you on the other side.
If you see me out and I’m not wearing black, grey, or denim... it’s probably not me. 😂
Here’s what I know: College isn’t for everyone. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Running isn’t the only way to stay in shape, and living abroad isn’t the only way to gain perspective. Other things that are not for everyone include: social media, office jobs, dairy products, podcasts, city living, and... you get the point. There are literally hundreds of millions of choices available to you - to all of us. Your healthiest, best choice will likely not carve a path identical to anyone else’s. When we try to live someone else’s life, or push them to live ours, things get really messy really fast. If I’ve learned anything lately, it’s that I have to step into what’s right for me - and I have to pipe down when it comes to what’s right for everyone else. My therapist always tells me to “go where the life is.” Because when God leads somewhere, flourishing is waiting. He leads us to green pastures and still waters. But not necessarily the SAME pastures and waters. (Read Psalm 23 if you need some comfort about who’s guiding your days, or if you have no idea how pastures tie into this business.) I’m not talking about clearly outlined truth here. I’m talking about preference - and life is at least 85% preference, in my opinion. Something that feeds your soul might kill someone else’s, so let’s do a little less prescribing - we’re not life pharmacists, after all. Follow Jesus. Go where the life is. Cheer others on. Don’t worry about the rest of it. That’s my game plan these days.
Never not giggling with @alexisteichmiller. She is depth & lightness wrapped into one, pure joy to be around, a great rooftop photo taker, a deeply creative and kind woman, and an all-around good human. One of the best gifts Nashville has given me by a mile. 💕 We explored the Aertson tonight, and I was reminded all over again how fun it is to be a tourist in your own city. 10/10 would recommend.
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