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Jessica Fralin

Jessica Fralin

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Tag: courage

Posted on February 23, 2015February 22, 2015

Courage: One Little Word

I’ve needed a big dose of this little word lately. The first two decades of my life went by pretty much as expected. Infant turned toddler turned preschooler, then off to elementary, middle & high school. As far as I can remember, I tried to rush those seasons by as fast as they’d go, because …

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“Surely, God is not confined to the months of January through November. Surely, there’s friendship to be forged and creativity to endeavor upon and love to be found and work to be finished and miracles to be revealed - maybe even in the next four weeks. Who am I to count Him out? To tell Him, "I'm tired. Wait until next year." And if I won't count Him out, then I surely can't count myself - made in His image, after His heart - out, either. Maybe He has more to do. Maybe I have more to do, too.” ———————————————————————— Sharing a few words from December’s edition of The Pour Over, just in case you need a shot in the arm to KEEP GOING. God hasn’t turned his back on 2019, or on you. 💕 There’s goodness ahead, and we don’t have to wait until January 1 to taste it. The Pour Over is a monthly email series I started this fall - featuring words to pore over, coffee to pour over, and a dash of the sweet stuff. If you need some encouraging words to kick off each month, love finding good playlists and podcasts and purchases, or just enjoy a good cup of coffee - this is the email for you. If you’re not subscribed yet, click the link in my bio & consider it your Christmas gift to me. 😉 I’m having a blast writing these little guys, and it would mean so much if you came along for the journey in 2020.
Celebrated Bailey + Ben with a bunch of best friends this weekend, and it was the stuff of dreams. We even got our wedding souvenirs from a t-shirt cannon (swipe to the end to see my new favorite outfit.) Really, really grateful for this crew.✨
I’m usually pretty decisive. But lately, I’ve been in a couple of places that left me unsure of what to do. And I’ll just be transparent — I didn’t handle that indecision well. I overshared and underthought, and honestly? I muddied the waters for my own dang self. Even worse: some people gave opinions I didn’t even ASK for, and I let those influence me, too. Lesson learned: there’s a big difference in seeking wisdom and stressing out over comments from the peanut gallery. When I let too many voices speak into my life, I end up confused and anxious. When I finally tune it all out, I realize that I’ve known which way I wanted to walk all along. This is probably true for you, too. My friend @erinloechner is really wise about this, and she recently talked to me about how we don’t trust our intuitions any more, because we don’t have to. Going to a new gym? Google the details so you know exactly what to wear and when to arrive and how to navigate the facility. But let’s be honest: we’ve all been to a gym before. We, generally speaking, know how it works. We should trust ourselves a little bit more. See also: pulling up the menu on our phones before visiting every restaurant and checking the ETA on Apple Maps for a place we’ve been a hundred times. We rely on our heads and not our guts. And then, when we NEED them, they’re out of practice. Yikes. My point is this: you probably know what to do. You don’t need that 56th opinion. You don’t even need Google, I bet. Trust the discernment you’ve been given. Trust the God you follow. And trust the people who have stored up valuable relational capital in your life — and whose lives you wouldn’t mind shaping yours after. (Don’t accept directions from someone who hasn’t been where you’re going. But that’s another post.) Check in with what, or who, matters, and leave the rest of those voices in the background. Whatever you’re walking into — a new job, a difficult conversation, a proverbial fork in the road — I bet you’ve got it. I’d give you my opinion, but you don’t need it. Just know I’m cheering you on.
I tried on these overalls in August, fell in love with them on sight, and then promised myself I’d wait until the inevitable sale — one small rebellion against the culture of immediacy. I didn’t know it at the time, but as I refreshed the Anthropologie website, Jesus was leading me into uncharted territory. Last month, I had scheduled a long overdue hair appointment. But then, a phone call from family changed my plans, and I found myself on a plane to South Carolina instead. Weirdly, back to the city in which I spotted the overalls. I didn’t have them in hand. I had to cancel my appointment. A year ago, I would have been frustrated over both of these things. Not even because they’re deeply important, but because I was deeply impatient. Fast forward: three months later, the overalls DID go on sale. And yesterday, I wore them to my hair appointment. Waiting for both these things made me more grateful for them, to be sure. But if this post was all just about waiting for sales and rescheduling appointments, it wouldn’t make for a very meaningful story. But waiting for sales and highlights has shifted my heart as summer’s turned to winter. My soul feels settled in a way it didn’t before. Peace is meeting me here, with overall straps on my shoulders and fresh highlights in my hair and a heart full of much bigger, much weightier hopes. But here’s the thing: I’m attuned to waiting now. Saying no to immediacy has given me peace I couldn’t have anticipated. Trusting God’s timing isn’t possible without trusting in His heart. But these days, I trust it more than I’ve ever trusted anything. It might be winter, but I’m already seeing the seeds of some of my deepest hopes poking through the dirt. He’s been good, and He’ll keep being good — it’s just who He is. That’s why, even in the waiting, contentment is the song I’ll sing over big and little hopes alike.
Before these girls showed up, I didn’t know friendship could feel this much like family. People who meet us now don’t know about the lonely years. But gosh, we all had them - living in a city with lots to do and no one to do it with, with a hundred new contacts in our phones but no eat-pizza-and-cry-on-the-couch friends, which is the kind everyone really needs. Being in a new city is hard. Being in the same city, but in a new season, might be even harder. If you’re feeling the weight of loneliness on this random Tuesday, keep showing up. I know it’s hard - but keep saying yes to coffee dates and drinks after work and house parties and lunch after church. And if you’re not getting invited to those things, create things, and invite people to them. Some of those friendships won’t go anywhere, of course. Not every person you meet is your person. But one day, you might host a party in your living room and walk away with people you want to hold on to for life. That’s what happened here. And I’m grateful every stinkin’ day. We might be all over the map these days, but they will always feel like home.
Can confirm.
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