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Jessica Fralin

Jessica Fralin

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Posted on November 30, 2017November 30, 2017

hope on the rise.

As soon as the Christmas tree goes up every year, my morning routine shifts. All I want to do is pour a cup of coffee & linger in front of it, taking in the silence of the morning & the softness of its glow (team white lights FOREVER, you guys). I can see those little …

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Posted on May 1, 2017May 1, 2017

What I’m Reading: 2017 part one.

This year, I rediscovered the library. I've loved to read since I was three. (I know, the nerd in me showed up early & has been going strong ever since.) If I close my eyes, I can still picture the library in my hometown neighborhood, can still smell that well-read paper & feel that calming …

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Posted on April 17, 2017April 17, 2017

on taking deep breaths.

Tonight, I'm crashing into bed proud of myself. Over the past three weeks, I've pushed myself harder than I can remember. I took on three new clients in an already insane season. I worked a lot of 12+ hour days - and still went to bed on time. I took care of my body. Today, I …

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Posted on March 6, 2017

The #makeMondaykind Giveaway!

It's my birthday week, but I want to give some things I love to YOU. So here we go - the very first #makeMondaykind giveaway! (To learn more about #makeMondaykind, click here.) The winner will receive: 1️⃣ Two copies of Darling Magazine No. 18 - one for you to keep, one for you to make Monday …

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Posted on December 24, 2016December 24, 2016

Something Worth Rejoicing Over

“A thrill of hope; the weary world rejoices. For yonder breaks a new & glorious morn.” O Holy Night has always been my favorite Christmas song, & I've always held that lyric close. But this year, it hits new depths in my soul. Because this year, more than ever before, I’m weary. I’m weary of opinions …

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Posted on September 9, 2016September 9, 2016

The Year I Stopped Trying to Control People

2016 will go down as the year I stopped trying to control people. Not that I was successfully controlling them before. But I tried. Wow, did I try. My soul still has some scars that prove it — on their way to healed, but still visible if you look hard enough. I think my heart …

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Posted on February 10, 2016February 10, 2016

Lent: Rest + Receive

Jesus & I had a good talk about Lent this year. I'm not much for giving things up simply for the sake of sacrifice. But this year, He set me straight, & something clicked. At the core of it all, Lent is not about giving up something for Jesus. Lent is about receiving something from …

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Been missing my girl for a whole year today. 💛 the sweetest, sassiest, most loving pup I’ve ever known - and I got to call her mine. Dogs are just the greatest. If your best pal is nearby, give ‘em an extra hug for me.
My advice? Get some friends who are unlike you. You’ll learn from them in countless ways. While you’re at it, get a couple who are SO MUCH like you that you never have to explain a thing, who can see inside your soul because theirs is wired the same. Choose friends who never let you settle, but always let you settle in: into their couches with wine and laughter, into their arms with tears and frustration, and into a rhythm where you are known and loved. Pick the ones who know when to push you and when to let you rest, who will work and play as needed. (Both are needed.) Seek out friends who offer you adventure and roots, who will be there for every wild idea and who will be there when the limelight is far, far away. Get friends who love you for YOU, not for what you bring to the table or the connections you hold or the zip code you live in. This girl, and a handful of others who make up my crew, are all of this and more. I’ll probably never be able to thank them enough for the gifts they are to me - but I’m going to keep trying. 💛 If you’ve got friends like this, let them know today. It’ll do their hearts some good to know they’re loved by you, too.
My faith used to fit into boxes. A place for everything, and everything in its place. I stood, waves lapping at my ankles, and marveled at this calm life I’d found in Jesus. Of course, Jesus isn’t calm. He shook things up with every step he walked on this earth. He’s still shaking things up. He’s countercultural in all the best ways. That tidy world I lived in was religion. Years ago, the water got choppy. Life wasn’t as black & white as I’d hoped it’d be. Waves split my little boxes wide open. Everything came tumbling out, and I didn’t know how to put it all back. Even scarier, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. I was knee-deep in doubt and terrified to say so. Doubt was a dirty word. Doubt meant I didn’t trust Jesus - a dangerous place for my heart to be. Or so I’d been told. But while religion was afraid of my doubt, Jesus welcomed it. You don’t have to be afraid of doubt when You know You’ll be proven true. So I stared doubt down. I asked questions about the brokenness in the world and the church and me. I got angry and sad. And as I poured out the grief I carried, Jesus met me with empathy and friendship deeper than I’d dreamed. I’m not telling you to walk away from church, to question everything that once seemed obvious, to wrestle with the theology you were raised in. But I’m sure of this: if you do, Jesus will go with you. When I tried to lead with rules and bottom lines, I nearly drowned, because obedience should overflow from a life soaked in love. Jesus led with love, after all. And when I lead with love, I remember - I know how to swim. We don’t need to have all the answers. We just follow Jesus. When we do it imperfectly, there’s grace - hallelujah. When we do it well, we find that life in open water is infinitely better than life on the shore. Our feet won’t touch the bottom, but they’re planted firmly on a foundation better than sand. Don’t be afraid of the deep. Jesus can be tested ten thousand times; He will always be found true. There’s no riptide strong enough to pull you away, no depth to which He will not swim for you. Get in over your head. It’s messy out here, but you are finally, beautifully free - and completely, unshakably loved.
I’m not great at accepting my own limitations. I want to do it all, wear every hat, and balance everything perfectly. So when things pop up & shatter my illusion of control... it’s not always pretty. (Enneagram 8, nice to meet you.) Sickness knocked me flat out for 10 days. I was too tired to even keep up with my inbox, much less attack the tasks waiting beyond it. And every morning I woke up still sick, I got more frustrated. And then, on Friday night, this message from my friend @abbyjperry: “Hi. This right here is a safe space to vent and be very very frustrated about being sick. The world outside the pit will be waiting for you. I know you don’t want to, but it’s okay for you to spend a minute longer in there than you’d like.” YOU GUYS. I sobbed. Speaking on behalf of control freaks everywhere, what we desperately need (but will rarely ask for) are safe spaces, friendships that allow us to be undone and mad and sad, to grieve our limitations so we can work our way towards accepting them. That message was a profound gift - and one I didn’t even know I needed until it was offered to me. Sometimes, circumstances push you into your own unhealthy corners. You’ve either got to face them and react, or face them and grow. But maybe even more importantly than that, FIND YOU SOME FRIENDS who will sit with you in the corner - before you’ve grown, before you’re healed, before you’ve fully worked through your feelings about it all. We all need a person or two who can tell us what we need, in dark moments when we can’t discern it for ourselves. This is what love looks like: sitting beside each other while we figure this whole life thing out. Patience, kindness, safety. Sounds a whole lot like Jesus to me.
I try not to blow up the internet with my political views, but if we are real life friends, you KNOW how much I care about voting. If you didn’t make it to the polls early, don’t forget to take a few minutes on Tuesday to make your voice heard. It's an incredible privilege that we get to decide what happens next in our country - especially in the current political climate. It affects so much - most importantly, the future for the next generation. If you think the country's doing what it should, vote to keep it that way. If you think the country needs a big change, you have the power to change it. If you don’t have enough information on the candidates & issues in your area, this is your friendly reminder to research them a little bit in the next four days. (Vote411.org is a great resource! DM me if you need help finding more.) This matters. Your voice counts. Please use it. I don't care if you vote like I do. I just care that you vote. 💛
We limped into this brunch date with an ear infection and bronchitis, respectively, but we still managed to order (& eat) half the menu. I’m proud of our choices. This might not be our best look, but when we’re together, it’s always the best time. 💛
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Jessica Fralin
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