I’m so thankful this is a place where we can struggle through our failures together. I’m also glad this is a place where we can celebrate our successes. I’m coming out of a season that seems to be sprinkled with more failure than success. Not so much on the outside — but definitely in the wrestlings of my heart. And yesterday morning, it didn’t seem like I had much to celebrate.
I was walking into a full schedule of meetings I knew would be frustrating. Deadlines weighed heavy on my shoulders, which meant that I was digging deep to even find strength to deal kindly with the upcoming day. It went worse than I expected. The paperwork I’d hoped to complete was multiplied instead, & every person I spoke to seemed more against me than the last one. (It doesn’t help that any & all tasks involving paperwork are the bane of my existence.) Typically, this situation brings out the worst in me. Or, more accurately, in my words. But something in my heart told me to bite my tongue. This day did not have to follow suit. This time could be different.
I walked to my car. (Anyone else use their car as a bubble from the world? Lock the doors, take five, cool off? It’s saved me from many dumb heat-of-the-moment decisions.) I sat. I prayed. I trusted. Against all odds, I trusted that the situation in front of me, much too tangled for me to sort through, would be resolved by the end of the day.
Against all odds, it was.
I’m honestly still not sure how things came together, short of the idea that communing rather than complaining really, really matters. My prayer was half frustration, half belief; half hope, & half doubt. But Jesus took those shreds of confidence I had & went before me. He is so on my side. He even cares about paperwork.
Yesterday renewed my confidence that my God is God of the details. Even the midst of the most frustrating days in the world, Jesus is redeeming little pieces of me. He’s growing faith in the doubting corners of my heart & stretching patience over places where mine has worn thin. He is not finished with me yet. & He’s not finished with you. Let’s celebrate success. We are becoming more like Him, slowly but surely. Let’s allow Him to keep redeeming us today, friends.