I’m Not Offended

There’s a terrible habit that’s been camping out in so many of our minds. It’s threatened to ruin friendships, to break down trust, to turn us against each other. In fact, you probably know it: the “me against the world” mindset.

Insecurity has this sneaky way of whispering that your people are not really on your side. It causes every unreturned phone call, forgotten invitation, and sarcastic comment to feel like a personal attack. It causes us to become easily offended people with fragile hearts. It builds walls instead of relationships. It breeds doubt & fear, all the while stomping out trust & authenticity.

Most of the time, easily offended moments are rooted in lies. A friend says, “Wow, it must be great to spend your Saturday relaxing,” genuinely wishing she could take a break from the project deadline that’s looming overhead. But the easily offended heart hears, “You’re lazy. You are wasting your day away while I work harder than you ever will.” That interpretation comes straight from believing that she is not for you. All she wanted was some sympathy for her stressed-out season. Interpretations turn ugly when insecurity wins.

The remedy to this habit is trust. Going on the defensive will keep you safer, but it will never allow you to go deeper. Believing the best, stepping out from behind the walls? That’s terrifying. And absolutely worth it. I think you’ll find that your people love you even more than you thought. They’re not fighting you. They’re fighting with you. Believe the best, & a lifetime of unnecessary conflicts will be swallowed up by love.

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